Funny Midget Pics - All About Little Midgets

News Agencies Report British Midget Injured After He Accidentally Glued Penis to Vacuum Cleaner

This is a true story of a circus act gone terribly wrong, as reported by European news agencies earlier this week.  A British midget who was performing at the 'Edinburgh Festival' found his penis glued to a vacuum cleaner while preparing for a live show.

Daniel Blackner, known as "Captain Dan the Demon Dwarf" was ready to perform at the 'Circus of Horrors', which is known for its oddball, offbeat performances. As part of the show, the midget pulls a vacuum cleaner using a special attachment across the show attached to his penis.

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Here's the important part of the story.  The attachment broke before the performance and Blackner tried to fix it using extra-strong glue, but unfortunately only let it dry for 20 seconds instead of the usual 20 minutes required. This meant when he connected himself to the vacuum cleaner, the glue was not yet dry, and his penis was immediately stuck fast.

The midget was rushed to the accident and emergency department of Edinburgh Royal Infirmary, where nurses struggled for an hour to free him. Blackner said, "It was the most embarrassing moment of my life when I got wheeled into a packed A&E with a vacuum attached to me. I just wished the ground could swallow me up. Luckily, they saw me quickly so the embarrassment was short lived."

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Hospital sources confirmed that they treated the little performer, but a spokesman for the Royal Infirmary said he could not comment on individual cases.

Midgets Attack: Malaysian Police Detain Midget Gang

Malaysian police detained an eight-member gang of small-sized robbers dubbed the "midget gang," who allegedly confessed to committing 14 break-ins over the past three months, The Associated Press reported.

All the gang members, aged between 14 and 23 years, were diminutive, according to the AP, without saying whether they were dwarfs or just small.

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Some of them who were less than 5 feet tall would be picked to squeeze through small openings into the houses they robbed in central Malaysia.

Gang members confessed to their crimes when they were detained, according to the report.

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The arrests came about after residents in a housing area alerted police after noticing the group loitering suspiciously in a field near their homes, Ampang district police chief Amer Awal was quoted as saying.

Pelican Eats Midget in Mexico - Yeah, It's Funny

om This poor Mexican midget is being eaten by a Pelican.  It's funny and sad at the same time.  Someone should really do something about those killer Pelicans in Mexico, before they eat all the sexy lady midgets.

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John Stewart's Midget Twin?

Breaking news, midget fans.  Our crack team of investigative reporters has uncovered evidence that Daily Show host John Stewart has an identical twin, and that sibling happens to be a dwarf.  These photos, found on Worth1000.com, substantiate our findings.  We also found strong evidence that Donald Trump and Kevin Spacey also have been hiding midget siblings.

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Michael Jackson Tells Paper he Wants to Build a Midget Theme Park

MSNBC is reporting that Michael Jackson (who left the U.S. after he was acquitted on sex charges in California) has been spending time in Ireland and telling Irish journalists he wants to open a leprechaun-inspired theme park.

Sources say Jackson wants to fill a castle and its surrounding estate with tiny Irish midgets.

“Michael is deadly serious about this idea,” a source told Ireland’s Daily Mirror, according to the MSNBC article. “He loves the whole idea of leprechauns and the magic and myths of Ireland. He’s always wanted to open his own theme park and he thinks Ireland is the perfect place and it will all be built around the leprechaun theme.”

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This is no "little" project, though.  The sources estimate this midget fantasy land would cost approximately $625 million to build.  Let's just hope the leprechauns aren't really little drunk children dressed like Irish midgets.

Ah, that cracky Wacko-Jacko!

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WeeMan Hits the Big Screen Again in Jackass: Number Two

After smearing the world with all sorts of ridiculous crap, the original creators and cast of the MTV Jackass series are back at it again, with plenty of camera time for Jason "Weeman or Wee-Man" Acuna.

Acuna's Jackass: Number One antics included staking as an Oompa-Loompa, kicking himself in the head, and rolling co-star Johnny Knoxville down a staircase in a red carpet. Of course, who could forget when he popped out of a suitcase, causing fat man Preston Lacy to give chase around town.  How could you not laugh?

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This time around, the movie is rumored to significantly raise the stakes and lower the bar. Critics say this installment of Jackass the Movie unleashes a spirited mess of absurd comedy as the cast and crew gets even more ugly around the globe.

Bring it on, baby!

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Midgets: Our Secret Weapon in the War Against Terror

Five years ago, our nation was attacked by extremists who hate democracy and want to kill Americans. 

Today, Al-Qaeda sponsored terror cells continue to blow up our soldiers in Afghanistan and Iraq.  But those backward zealots weren't expecting the USA's newest weapon against hate: the dwarf.

These confidential little war machines are incredibly energy efficient. They appear harmless on approach, only to erupt into a miniature fire ball of rage when it's too late to run. 

President Bush didn't mention these tiny weapons during tonight's address to the nation - something about national security - but rest assured they are strategically fighting our enemy overseas so we don't have to fight them here.  They're difficult to spot.  That's what makes them so damn effective.

God bless you, little warriors. Aim for the "terror sacks" in between their legs.   

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Hippo Eats Circus Dwarf in Thailand

If it's published in two newspapers, it's got to be true, right?  Poor little circus midget. Goes to show you can't trust hippos, especially when they are around dwarfs. I wonder if he tasted like chicken?

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Fighting Midgets Stir Controversy Across America

There's a tough group of midgets making its way around the country, and it might be headed to your hometown. I'm talking about the Half Pink Brawlers, a new source of sick entertainment where rock-hard little wrestlers kick each others asses for big cash. 

To be sure, this midget mayhem is stirring controversy.  The group offers drunk midget limbo, midget lap dances for the ladies, comedy, drinking games and a "balls to the walls" all out midget brawl.  These pint sized powerhouses fight with thumb tacks, trashcans, staple guns and broken bottles.  Their publicist says it best: "These midgets bleed what little blood they have for your enjoyment."

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This Blog Master isn't endorsing the Half Pint Brawlers - I don't have an opinion either way - but you've got to admit it's interesting ... sort of like when you drive past a car wreck and turn your head to see the carnage.

Move over, Jerry Springer.  These midgets will kick your ass.  (Note: The Half Pint Brawlers have a Web Site at http://www.halfpintbrawlers.com .)

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Dwarf Sues State Prison System

A little criminal doing big time in a Georgia (USA) prison is suing the state's Department of Corrections after he fell and injured his back while in custody for dealing marijuana and possessing methamphetamine.

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In the lawsuit, the midget prisoner claims that in April 2004 a guard at the state prison in Jackson told him to shave. The dwarf told the guard he could not reach the mirror above the sink in his cell. The guard, according to the little criminal, told him to stand on the sink. He fell off the sink onto the cement floor in his cell, according to the suit.

The dwarf, now 23, is trying to get his life back together. He's aspiring rapper and songwriter known as "Lil Dirty," and today sports a full beard and mustache, according to a report filed by Cox News Service.  "He still bears the artwork of prison life — tattoos cover his arms, including drawings of a joker and SpongeBob SquarePants," the Cox article reported.

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Disclaimer: The little person in this photograph (left) isn't the criminal dwarf in this story, but I liked the photo and thought it went well with this piece.  He looks like the kind of midget who could survive a stint in the big house, right?

Ever been victimized by a midget? Tell us your story by leaving a comment.

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Seven Dwarfs More Famous than U.S. Judges?

An August, 2006 poll by Zogby International found three quarters of Americans can correctly identify two of Snow White's seven dwarfs, but only a quarter can name two Supreme Court Justices.

It gets worse. Respondents were far more familiar with the Three Stooges - Larry, Moe and Curly - than the three branches of the U.S. government - executive, legislative and judicial. And twice as many people could identify the most recent winner of "American Idol" (that would be Mr. Soul Patrol, Taylor Hicks) as were able to name the Supreme Court justice confirmed in January 2006, Samuel Alito.

The results were reported by the Reuters news service on August 14, 2006.