News Agencies Report British Midget Injured After He Accidentally Glued Penis to Vacuum Cleaner

This is a true story of a circus act gone terribly wrong, as reported by European news agencies earlier this week.  A British midget who was performing at the 'Edinburgh Festival' found his penis glued to a vacuum cleaner while preparing for a live show.

Daniel Blackner, known as "Captain Dan the Demon Dwarf" was ready to perform at the 'Circus of Horrors', which is known for its oddball, offbeat performances. As part of the show, the midget pulls a vacuum cleaner using a special attachment across the show attached to his penis.

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Here's the important part of the story.  The attachment broke before the performance and Blackner tried to fix it using extra-strong glue, but unfortunately only let it dry for 20 seconds instead of the usual 20 minutes required. This meant when he connected himself to the vacuum cleaner, the glue was not yet dry, and his penis was immediately stuck fast.

The midget was rushed to the accident and emergency department of Edinburgh Royal Infirmary, where nurses struggled for an hour to free him. Blackner said, "It was the most embarrassing moment of my life when I got wheeled into a packed A&E with a vacuum attached to me. I just wished the ground could swallow me up. Luckily, they saw me quickly so the embarrassment was short lived."

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Hospital sources confirmed that they treated the little performer, but a spokesman for the Royal Infirmary said he could not comment on individual cases.