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It's time to relax, grab your gin 'n juice and get your groove on the way the little people do it. Yes, I'm talking about getting down and dirty like a midget gansta, biatch. It's not a party unless you've got a dwarf up in your biz-naz, right? Akon, Tupac and the Notorious B.I.G would be proud of this sexy little lady. Turn the music up, yo! Dance like a ho.
While you're here, check out our Midget Archive Page for a few more laughs - midget pics and such.
Is Midget Tossing fast becoming a lost art? Already relegated to smoky bars and taverns, the popular but controversial sport of dwarf tossing (sometimes also called midget tossing) could be in danger of extinction. It's widely considered offensive to the dignity of dwarfs, and is criminally banned in many countries. Hold on tight, folks. Today, the news team at All About Midgets explores this wayward drunken athletic event.
Midgets: Our Secret Weapon in the War Against Terrorism
Midget Throwing is a bar attraction (let's call it a sport?) where dwarfs wearing special padded clothing are thrown onto mattresses by patrons who compete to throw the dwarf the farthest. The term "dwarf tossing" is often used, and it is sometimes also called "midget tossing".
Dwarf Tossing is widely considered to be offensive to the dignity of dwarfs. As a consequence, various legislators have considered banning it. The activity is illegal in Florida and New York, due in great part to a 1989 lawsuit filed by two members of the Little People of America. Dwarf tossing is also illegal in France and Canada, where a bar patron can be fined $5,000 and spend up to six months in jail for tossing a midget. Such moves have attracted criticism from proponents of the sport and some who think that these prohibitions deny a possible source of income for dwarfs.
Click Here to See Black Hitler the Dwarf
Our research team is at this time unable to confirm the current world record for the longest dwarf throw. It is believed the record stands with a throw of 12 feet 9 inches by a man named "Cuddles", but there have been many claims of more than 14 feet. Anonymous sources say the farthest midget toss (15 feet 2 inches) was achieved by a man from Topeka, Kansas. Truly no "small" accomplishment. No word on how heavy the midget was, or whether or not the tosser was drunk.
Here's how the toss works: you pick up your selected midget (who will likely be adorning some kind of safety helmet and vest), take a three step run and throw the little "d-bomb" as far as possible. And there you have it - possibly the most non-PC sport ever invented. Whoever gets their human missile the farthest is the winner. Not sure about the prize for the drunk winner.
The first of these twisted little events to get any real recognition was The Dwarf Throwing World Championship (we're serious) which took place some time in 1986 - such a tournament could ONLY happen in the 80s, right? That particular toss-fest was won by Team England - a few strong chaps who make their beds in London.
The dwarf tossing pub sport can be played by anyone, and tremendous consumption of alcoholic beverages is strongly recommended by many players. Both men and women can play and even compete against each other head-to-head. Unfortunately for the men, the women who generally participate tend to have male like qualities. This has meant the customary swapping of shirts at the end of each competition has been scrapped, due to the women's constant complaints that the shirts given to them were always too small and that they wouldn't want to wear the shirt of a 'chauvinist pig who got his kicks throwing vertically-challenged anyway.
Midget tossing industry analysts say these dwarf athletes can command 6-figure salaries, depending on their country or origin and flying abilities. Major companies such as Nike, Budweiser, Miller Light or Axe Body Spray have yet to pay high-dollar fees to sponsor these little athletes, but rest assured such corporate sponsors aren't far off. The deals require special negotiation because of the size of the midget's body - you can't value a dwarf's chest the same way you price a WWF wrestler, you know?
To be sure, this site doesn't endorse tossing midgets or dwarfs, let alone within the confines of a tavern. But our intrepid news team wanted - no, NEEDED - to bring this story to the public. There's a dark side to our adorable and innocent little friends. It's called dwarf tossing.
While we've still got your attention, special thanks to our friends at Twisted Edge. We found some of our research from their great site, and recommend you check them out. Very awesome Web site. Click Here for Twisted Edge
Happy St. Patrick's day, midget lovers. Put down that cold Budweiser and look over your shoulder. The leprechauns are coming! Damn, these little holiday dwarfs are freaky. Even the best beer buzz won't make these green midgets look approachable. Mmmmm ... green beer. Green Budweiser beer.
Mardi Gras Midgets - An Insurance Policy for Fun!
Enough about Bud Light. Here's a little history about those beer drinking Irish leprechauns.
In Irish mythology, a leprechaun is a type of male fairy said to inhabit the island of Ireland. They usually take the form of old men who enjoy partaking in mischief.
Their trade is that of a cobbler or shoemaker. (You can thank the leprechauns for those Air Jordan or Nike shoes.) They are said to be very rich, having many treasures buried during war-time. According to legend, if anyone keeps an eye fixed upon one, the leprechaun cannot escape, but the moment the eye is withdrawn, he vanishes.
The leprechaun originally had a different appearance depending on where in Ireland he was found. In fact, before the 20th century, most people agreed that the leprechaun wore red - not green. No word on whether the midgets were drunk or sober.
Movies, television cartoons and advertising have popularized a specific image of leprechauns that really doesn't resemble anything found in Irish mythology. Many Irish people find our image of a leprechaun offensive, and say it doesn't reflect the rich culture and traditions of Ireland.
Click Here for the Midget Archives
Alright, enough history. Go out and enjoy that green beer and green cookies. Just remember to keep your eye on the mighty leprechaun when you see him. Take a picture and we'll put it on the site.
Look, it's a dwarf in a dryer! It's not every day that you find a midget inside a household appliance. I guess it's a Whirlpool dryer, because the Maytag Man was much taller than this guy.
Two Dozen Midgets Pull a Jumbo Jet
Would someone please tell us why the world is so fascinated with Midgets doing horrible "little" sexual acts on camera?
Midget Archives - Click Here for More Midgets
Look at these pics!! When did these sweet, innocent little people sell their souls? Alright ... we're laughing, too ... reluctantly laughing. If you're a fan of midget/dwarf porno, please educate us.
Midgets: Our Secret Weapon in the War Against Terrorism
