Tired of your airplane flights always being delayed? Maybe you need a "little" midget elbow grease. This photograph is proof that there's strength in numbers. I wonder if the plane is loaded with dwarfs? And who let these little guys on the runway?
Alright, I have to ask the question: Is this the new face of terrorism?
Is this the latest weapon of Al Qaeda? You could fit this man in a suitcase or the overhead compartment of an airplane.
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Look at his eyes! He looks like he hates America.
I'm probably overreacting, and I bet this guy is very nice. But he looks suspicious. What do you think?
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After smearing the world with all sorts of ridiculous crap, the original creators and cast of the MTV Jackass series are back at it again, with plenty of camera time for Jason "Weeman or Wee-Man" Acuna.
Acuna's Jackass: Number One antics included staking as an Oompa-Loompa, kicking himself in the head, and rolling co-star Johnny Knoxville down a staircase in a red carpet. Of course, who could forget when he popped out of a suitcase, causing fat man Preston Lacy to give chase around town. How could you not laugh?
This time around, the movie is rumored to significantly raise the stakes and lower the bar. Critics say this installment of Jackass the Movie unleashes a spirited mess of absurd comedy as the cast and crew gets even more ugly around the globe.
Bring it on, baby!
What - you've never seen a midget with a pet donkey? Oh come on. Every good dwarf has a donkey.
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You know the world is headed to hell in a handbasket when dwarfs start whoring themselves out to pay the bills. Midget strippers? Dwarf porn stars? We're all going to hell ... at least we'll be laughing, right?
Wow. Sometimes you run across a photograph that's so funny, outrageous, weird or disturbing that you have to share it with the world. This is one of those times.
This screen shot was taken from a comedy TV show that aired in the 1970s. Someone told me it was a Richard Pryor stunt. If you know the details, feel free to post a comment.
Five years ago, our nation was attacked by extremists who hate democracy and want to kill Americans.
Today, Al-Qaeda sponsored terror cells continue to blow up our soldiers in Afghanistan and Iraq. But those backward zealots weren't expecting the USA's newest weapon against hate: the dwarf.
These confidential little war machines are incredibly energy efficient. They appear harmless on approach, only to erupt into a miniature fire ball of rage when it's too late to run.
President Bush didn't mention these tiny weapons during tonight's address to the nation - something about national security - but rest assured they are strategically fighting our enemy overseas so we don't have to fight them here. They're difficult to spot. That's what makes them so damn effective.
God bless you, little warriors. Aim for the "terror sacks" in between their legs.
If it's published in two newspapers, it's got to be true, right? Poor little circus midget. Goes to show you can't trust hippos, especially when they are around dwarfs. I wonder if he tasted like chicken?
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There's a tough group of midgets making its way around the country, and it might be headed to your hometown. I'm talking about the Half Pink Brawlers, a new source of sick entertainment where rock-hard little wrestlers kick each others asses for big cash.
To be sure, this midget mayhem is stirring controversy. The group offers drunk midget limbo, midget lap dances for the ladies, comedy, drinking games and a "balls to the walls" all out midget brawl. These pint sized powerhouses fight with thumb tacks, trashcans, staple guns and broken bottles. Their publicist says it best: "These midgets bleed what little blood they have for your enjoyment."
Hide-A-Beer Beer Can Wrappers Sold Here
This Blog Master isn't endorsing the Half Pint Brawlers - I don't have an opinion either way - but you've got to admit it's interesting ... sort of like when you drive past a car wreck and turn your head to see the carnage.
Move over, Jerry Springer. These midgets will kick your ass. (Note: The Half Pint Brawlers have a Web Site at http://www.halfpintbrawlers.com .)
Turns out little people aren't immune to the mullet virus. That's right, folks. The good 'ole Achy Breaky Big Mistakey. The Kentucky Waterfall. Today we salute a special kind of dwarf: the midget with a mullet.
What's a mullet? It's a haircut that is short in the front, on the top and on the sides, but long in the back. This special barbershop bug has infected males and females of all ages, but it seems to disproportionately afflict young males.
Up until circa 1980, physicians though
t small children were immune to the Beaver Paddle, but the Hurtin' Curtain mutated - epidemiologists first spotted the child-friendly mutation in a trailer park community 14 miles southeast of Poplar Bluff, MO. Panic enveloped child care centers across the nation.
It was only a matter of time, I suppose, before "specius Americas Mulletus" found our little people and stole their innocence. Only the elderly have managed to successfully fight off the Mud Flap, in part because of careful nursing home precautions instituted in 1992 by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
You've found our midgets, Desert Dawg. We surrender.
Political advertisements are starting to air around the country, and November isn't far away. In a few years, we'll have to elect a new president. Made me ask the question: Could a dwarf become president? Would a midget win the election?
If history is any indication, the answer is - unfortunately - a resounding "no." Height matters.
In the past 13 U.S. presidential elections, the taller candidate has won 10 times. The most recent exception was George W. Bush, pictured above, who was shorter than John Kerry but a giant when compared to the average dwarf - G 'dub is around 5' 10".
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Turns out that presidents tend to be distinctly taller than the average population, anyway. In the United States, average height hovers around 70 inches. (That's a few inches taller than the day we declared our independence, by the way.)
So, who was the shortest president in history? That would be President James Madison at 64 inches (5'4"). Abe Lincoln was the tallest leader of the free world at around 76 inches (6'4"). Lyndon Johnson (74.5") and Bill Clinton (73.5") weren't far behind. George "I've got wooden teeth" Washington, for the record, stood almost 6 foot 2 inches.
I'm still optimistic about the prospects of a presidential midget. I believe in miracles, and little people are just as smart as regular-sized people, right? What do you think is more likely to happen first? An African American, a woman, a Jewish person or a dwarf in the oval office?
They say it was the best stunt in Major League Baseball history. This is a true story about the day when baseball went to the midgets.
The date was August 19, 1951. The place was sportsman's park in St. Louis, MO, where the St. Louis Browns took on the Detroit Tigers. It was a muggy afternoon - St. Louis weather - when the Browns set up a pinch hitter. From the dugout, the manager called Edward (Eddie) Gaedel to the plate.
Eddie proudly stood 3 feet and 7 inches tall. The torso of his 65 pound body wore a borrowed uniform made for one of the owners' sons, with the fraction 1/8 printed on his back. Eddie held a toy bat tightly in his hands and took his stance over home plate.
Detroit left hander Bob Cain threw the first pitch, widely missing Eddie's little strike zone for ball one. The next three pitches missed the zone, too, and Eddie gracefully took his base. Spectators said he took 60 seconds to reach first base, mesmerized by the crowd.
Moments later, the dwarf was pulled out of the game and replaced with a long-legged pinch runner. It would be Eddie's first and last appearance in the big leagues. On August 23, the commissioner of 
baseball ruled Eddie's contract invalid and ceremoniously banned midgets from professional baseball. It's been 55 years since a little person has approached the plate.
Eddie traveled back to Chicago, his home town, where he lived until his death in 1961. The circumstances of his passing were suspicious, leading many to believe the major league midget was murdered.
The little man pictured above-left isn't Eddie Gaedel; in fact, he looks nothing like Eddie. I thought 
the photo was funny, and he might serve as inspiration for those dwarfs who dream of one day walking in Eddie's tiny foot steps. The black and white photo (above-right) shows Eddie at the plate on August 19, 1951. His jersey is displayed in baseball hall of fame. The Associated Press obituary actually published in a Chicago daily newspaper.
Note: Before the opening pitch at Sportsman's park, Eddie jumped out of a giant cake.
